Zombie Stationary

So, in Germany they have a channel called 13th Street that's owned by the NBCUniversal Conglomerate, and according to their literature they are well known for their crime and horror offerings.  A German design firm designed some award winning stationary for them addressing everything from stapled documents to optical disc holders.  Going off the horror angle rather than the crime angle that 13th Street currently favors they created a series of zombie heads in various states of destruction.  My favorite is the two hole punched paper.  When viewed as an individual piece of paper there are holes in the zombies heads, but when placed in a binder the zombie heads are now pierced.  The official description is: "Invoice: When filing this sheet the zombie-heads get skewered."

View the Complete Collection

They also have an envelop which they describe as: "Envelope: Ripping the envelope open tears out the zombie's eyes."  You can click through to see all of the blood and gore if you so desire.  While this kind of creativity can go a long way toward keeping the young people in your office interested in filing paper work and can get your company some good press, most people prefer the a more professional approach for their businesses.  Just about anybody could be happy with standard white envelopes or if you want to be really fancy you can grab self adhesive envelopes with windows.  The whole forced ripping open of the envelopes only requires more effort as you'll have to track down some envelopes with tear strips that are affordable.

5-Hole Punched Copy Paper

Equally interesting to me as the zombie stationary is the two-hole punched paper.  You can find tons of two-hole paper punches or tons of three-hole punched paper, but I couldn't track down any paper with just two-holes that looked like the zombie stationary.  I found a five-hole punched paper that looks to be compatible with the paper in the above picture, but they all seem to think anything different than three holes and you are working for a hospital or law office.  I couldn't even find a good two ring binder anywhere.  They seem to be readily available if you live in Europe or Australia, but in the good old United States of America we've done an excellent job of standardizing ourselves to paper with three holes and binders with three holes.

Zombie Survival Office Supplies

After watching the season finale of AMC's The Walking Dead, I was thinking about my lack of preparation for the impending zombie apocalypse. Every smart zombie survivalist already knows the basics; you are going to have to leave your dreams about flame throwers and machine guns behind, because you are going to have to move fast if you are planning on moving at all. I'm not the type to actually waste too much of my time and money preparing for something that will come at an unknown time. I'm not stocking up on rations or weapons. I've got a copy of The Zombie Survival Guide and I know what part of town I'm headed to in case of an emergency. I have prepared this unofficial guide to zombie survival office supplies for any person or group of people who may want to mask their purchase of survival items online, or who may be in the midst of an outbreak with only office supply stores nearby.

Water is Your Most Important Supply

Say what you will about people drinking bottled water when tap water is readily available, but if the tap water goes away, you'll be glad to have Office Snax bottled water available when you need it. Along with water you'll need something to fill your stomach and give you some necessary vitamins and protein. I'd suggest some V-8 Juice and some Beef Jerky (Slim Jim) to keep yourself moving. There might be a lot of sodium in those products, but there are worse things (like having your brains eaten).

Medicine and Tools Should Be Secondary

Assuming you have some kind of basic shelter and a reasonable supply of food, you can start worrying about your secondary supplies. You'll survive just fine without bandages and pain relievers for a while, but you'll need them eventually and you don't want to have to haul around a pharmacy and a hardware store. Pick up a fully stocked First Aid Kit, a large box of Extra Strength Tylenol, some Neosporin and a Multi-Tool. You should be good to go.

Radios are Fun, but Optional

If you are hoping for a life that is more than just survival in this zombie filled environment, things are going to get risky. You'll want a good two-way radio (yes, you can find these at an Office Supply Store) to help you communicate with others. If the movies have ever taught us any real zombie survival skills, it's that our biggest enemy will be other humans, so you'll have to be careful who you talk to. If you are going to be out exploring you'll want to setup a basic way to keep track of where you've been and what may or may not be safe, a few rolls of Barricade tape are prefect.

UPDATE: Added a zombies tag because I now have two zombie related posts.  Hooray.